Auntie Anna

Like many Filipinos, we have family who have immigrated to the States. By the late 1980s, my mother and her three siblings were split between the East Coast (the eldest boy Justino and the eldest girl Constita) and Southern Manila (second eldest Jesus and youngest Ramonesa).

Justino, whom we knew as Uncle Boy, was a doctor who specialized in internal medicine. He moved to New York for his residency at a teaching hospital in 1969. He lived in Queens and eventually married a nurse of German-Irish descent named Anna Brennan, and they made a home in New Jersey.

The story I was told is that Uncle Boy was smart but shy, and Auntie Anna had to make the first move. I can't know this for sure because I was a toddler when I met Uncle Boy for the first and last time, but I can imagine it, because it was Auntie Anna who kept in touch with us for the both of them throughout the years.

She sent us pictures of their children almost every year, so I felt like I saw Justin, Jonathan, Steven, and Jessica growing up. She wrote us Christmas cards and letters in that distinctive handwriting I've come to associate with American mail.

One year, Auntie Anna gifted us melamine plates with our names on them. This was before Kai was born, so we had three that spelled out "Hilary Ivan," "Nolan Myles," and "Althea Lauren."

We used those plates for all our meals, three times a day, over so many years. As I finished eating, the rice and viand cleared off my plate would reveal my printed name, and I would invariably think of the state-side Riveras.

Uncle Boy passed away before I could visit them in America. He never came home again after 1978, which was also the last time my mother saw him. When she flew over for his funeral in 2013, Auntie Anna embraced her like a sister.

In 2015, we were invited to my cousin Jessica's wedding. I did my best to go, because I wanted to finally meet this side of my family. I had a memorable visit, and I was able to hang out with most of the New Jersey Riveras, including Justin and his wife Michelle.

Auntie Anna was as chatty as I imagined her to be. She recalled Uncle Boy taking her to Baguio. She mentioned the Filipino food she liked, such as the staple pansit and lumpia, even before they were popular.

She told me how much she loved our grilled pork. I assumed she was talking about lechon or liempo, but then she said the meat was threaded in bamboo skewers. She didn't know what was in the marinade, she said, that made it so good, so sweet and tangy.

I realized it was Filipino-style barbecue she was talking about, and I made a mental note to give her a recipe or even Mama Sita's Barbecue Marinade Mix and bottled calamansi seasoning one day.

Unfortunately, while we kept in touch on Facebook, I haven't been able to go back to visit.

Auntie Anna passed away peacefully yesterday, July 2. I am hopeful she was met by Uncle Boy and their first-born Justin. I imagine them having a beautiful feast together, with as much Pinoy BBQ as they can eat and the best of everything else they would ever want and need.

One of my new favorite things: a ring

I received an adjustable cocktail ring as a freebie with a purchase I made from Carousell. I didn't like the color at first, so I immediately tossed it into my To Donate pile, which soon got lost among my clutter. 

I found it again recently, years later, and this time around, the light hit it differently, and I found myself enamored by the vibrant cyan color. I looked closer and noticed that the center stone was framed by tiny crystals instead of what I mistakenly thought were metal engravings. There's also a marking on the band that may be "925," which indicates that the ring is made of sterling silver, a precious metal.

So I did some quick research. While the ring is not that valuable, it's also not as cheap as I originally thought! I really thought it was glass or, worse, plastic!

My quick research told me that, for costume jewelry, sterling silver is typically partnered with cubic zirconia and, at a minimum, lab-grown gemstones. In the case of my ring, it could be a lab-grown spinel made to mimic the incredibly rare Paraiba tourmaline.

Paraiba tourmaline is more expensive than a diamond. One Paraiba tourmaline is unearthed for every 10,000 diamonds mined!

Tourmaline, in general, also shares with opal the designation as the October birthstone.

Paraiba tourmaline is highly favored by artists, writers, and entrepreneurs because it is believed to trigger intense creative inspiration, helping a person take an abstract, brilliant concept out of their imagination and successfully manifest it into the physical world.

I also read that Paraiba tourmaline is considered one of the ultimate stones for self-expression, helping one align their thoughts with their voice.

Let me channel those energies with my synthetic gemstone!

Another plus point is that both cubic zirconia and spinel have a Mohs hardness of 8, making them durable for everyday wear.

Personally, I have come to love this ring because it reminds me of our country's turquoise waters and my deep but forgotten connection with the ocean, being an island girl.  

The sight of blood

I still need to get my blood drawn regularly, as I am still required to undergo a lot of tests. It feels never-ending, and while I've gotten used to it, I still go on a little bit scared. 

Yesterday's blood draw was quick. The tech found a vein on her first try. But when she pulled out the syringe, there was a bit of pain. After bandaging me up, she told me to apply pressure for three minutes and not to bend my arm. 

As my mother and I were walking outside, I felt a thick wetness on the site. I looked down and saw blood. A lot of it. I panicked. What if the gushing doesn't stop? Mommy calmly said to continue applying pressure. That will stop, she said. 

I remembered my grandfather, who passed away when I was 9. One of the stories my mother always told us was about how he would faint at the sight of blood. I believe I got my squeamishness from him, although another side of me is still sometimes fascinated by gore. 

Anyway, I asked Mommy to tell me more about Lolo Lino's encounters with blood. She told me that one time, in Junquera in Cebu, he saw from their window a neighbor getting hacked. He came crashing down on the floor after that. 

My arm bled again after she told me that story. I had to get a second wad of tissues to press on it. But by the time we got home, the bleeding had stopped. We cleaned the tiny little wound that looked huge for a needle, rebandaged it, and called it a night. 

I fell asleep almost immediately. I didn't faint. I'm still alive.

On finding good luck charms

Still in the thick of decluttering, I found these seeds I picked up during a trip to Siquijor years ago. They were nestled in a small pocket carved by the waves on a beachside rock. I was fascinated by their shape--they looked like stone-gray eggs--and when I picked one of them up and shook it instinctively, I was amused to hear it rattle.

I found out today what they are called: nickernuts, sea pearls, or fever nuts, the seeds of the coastal Caesalpinia bonduc vine.

​In our language, they are called ​kalumbibit or ​bayag-kambing.

They usually come in pairs in a pod that cracks open, releasing them into the sea, where they travel on currents, crossing oceans and washing up along beaches.

Apparently, they have medicinal (they are used to treat fevers, expel worms, ease period pains, and many more ailments) and traditional uses (children use them as marbles or as tokens in the board game sungka). 

What fascinates me more, however, is that they are also considered good luck charms in many cultures.

The Aztecs believed they had protective energy. In Santeria, they are considered "curse removers." In India, these seeds are strung on necklaces to ensure a safe pregnancy.

In the Philippines, they are seen as natural tokens of protection and fortune. In fact, they are for sale in Shopee and Lazada as "pampaswerte sa sugal at negosyo." 

How serendipitous that I gravitated naturally towards picking them up. I'll take all the positive juju I can get, thank you.

 

Dream: John Lloyd and Bea

Last night, I dreamed that I was getting married to John Lloyd Cruz and I was Bea Alonzo. We'd been completely in love, so I was confused that, right before the ceremony, JLC was suddenly distant. 

He spent time with his friends; didn't even look at me. I wasn't sure if we should even continue the wedding, but all the guests were there and I was already dressed. 

I thought about talking to him, worried that I'd be legally bound to someone who didn't want me even if he was JLC. Then I considered going with the flow but also being emotionally prepared to question him why he still proceeded to marry me. I would be blameless, I figured, even if stuck. 

I wondered if he loved someone else. But we had been so happy! And his eyes had always seemed sincere. And why hadn't he said anything?

We got married, but he didn't join me in the room later.

Then someone told me why, but I can't remember how. Maybe it was a narrator: You're messy. Your bed is full of cookie crumbs, and he can't stand it. He loves you, but he can't tolerate your being a slob. 

Bea Alonzo swept the clothes and crumbs off her bed. Sniffed her hands. Then she sobbed.