Saturday, February 26, 2011

This is what I look like happy



Taken during our Pinatubo camping trip. I'm holding dinner.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Dear Universe/God:

It's been a while since I last wrote an entry like this, but this weekend was really nice. Thank you for:

1. Allowing me to lose my glasses, so I could buy new ones on Paterno Street in Quiapo for half the price I would usually get them for in malls. Which meant I had extra to buy another pair for...
2. My mother, who came with me. I'm grateful for that, too, even if it meant being two hours late to my meeting time with Jenny, who was nice enough to wait, first at the Manila Post Office, and, later, at McDonald's UN Avenue.
3. The dinner at Trinity near MOA after, with the whole family (Ivan and Dayen, Dot and Rechelle, Kai and Pioq, and little Keona) and friends.
4. The nice Sunday at home, even if I spent most of it with a migraine. I'm grateful for the movies True Grit and Burlesque and even Glitter on Star Cinema. I loved watching them with the people I watched them with.
5. The delicious Sunday dinner. Perfect adobo and seafood soup (with clam and shrimps), cooked with kaffir lime leaves from Mommy's garden.

I'm looking forward to so many more.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Waiting on love

Sometimes I think: What if I had found love, and I had foolishly missed it?

What if it was that older boy from the neighborhood who I played volleyball with when I was 11 and too young to know about love? What if it was that guy who waited me for me outside the door after final exam in Spanish class, the guy I ran away from? What if it was that photographer who sat beside me, beer bottle in hand, happy to see me again? What if it was a best friend I once had, who never made it to where I am?

Then I would snap out of it: If they were love, they would be here. Wild horses wouldn't have kept them away.

Love crosses the room for you.

***

Still, it's easy to wonder. Every single person I had fallen in love with has found their significant other. And me? I'm still alone.

It's not really bad. As a learner said, "Better to be happy alone than sadly accompanied."

I'm happily living my life. I've been cleaning up past mistakes, smoothening the ridges. I'm developing patience, courage, more love for self. Confidence. Trust. Forgiveness.

I'm learning to love.

***

I look at some couples who are happy and sometimes, still, I can't see myself in that sort of picture. Maybe that's why I'm still single.

I look at some couples who are unhappy, feel for their heartbreak, and say to myself I don't want any of that ever again. Maybe that's why I'm still single.

Maybe it's about time I stop looking at others and just start looking at myself?

***

Whatever--I once said a prayer and I was promised a kick-ass love story. It's being written, and I can wait.

Love crosses the room for you. Love waits on the other side.

Monday, February 14, 2011

You set it again, my heart's in motion



Every word feels like a shooting star.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Shorter hair, finally

One of the first things I did for 2011.