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Showing posts with the label Teaching English

English Trainer Chronicles: I have been arriving

Learner: I have been arriving since 8 am.
Me: Arriving? How many times do you arrive?
Learner: Twice! I arrive once physically, then once more mentally. It's a two-step process.

Enter the dragon: so I asked and so it arrived

Trekking to the crater of Mt. Pinatubo on Dec. 15, 2012

The entry of 2012 saw me doing things I love, both things I'd done before and new ones, all with people close to my heart.

I traveled my beautiful country, because Remi finally accepted my invitation to come.

The dates and the places:

December 28 in Tagaytay
December 29 in Makati
December 30 in Manila
December 31 in Antipolo
January 1 in Banaue
January 2 in Batad
January 3 in Bontoc
January 4 in Sagada
January 5 in Baguio
January 6 in Pasay (LOL! Stuck in the airport! I still hate you, ZestAir!)
January 7 in Busuanga
January 8 in Coron
January 9 in Culion
January 10 in Metro Manila
January 15 in Tarlac, and Pinatubo

The list doesn't say much about the journey, except for where we'd been, but I think my heart took me on quite a trip as well.

And I'm not just saying that because of all the, um, cardio I found myself doing.

I'm saying that because I fell in love with the Philippines all over again.

I'm saying that because I love my friends, and I'm blessed to always be given the chance to show them my love. I'm also blessed to receive theirs.

And I'm saying that because everything I did -- from climbing to the crater of Taal Volcano to trekking the Batad terraces to doing the Sumaguing Cave tour to hiking to the crater of Mt. Pinatubo -- I came face to face with myself and finally fell in love.

Sage advice on love, from a 45-year-old French learner

do not have in mind the way you want the other one to be
i mean, you have your own conception of what you want, or of how "he" must be
but do you ask before to know if this kind of model already exists?

in human relation, the image is important, and what are you waiting for to... and with some little "fear" a lot of easy situations become very, very complicated!

and do not have fear to be ridiculous cause it doesn't kill

Today's French word is poupée


Which I'd always thought was pronounced poo-pee because I heard one of my students pronounce it that way. But maybe she was saying it in the cute way?

It means "doll," by the way.

Learner: My wife wants a baby girl, because she says girls can be like puppets.
Me: Puppets?
Learner: Yes, you know, like you can play with it, with dresses.
Me: Are you translating from French? As in the word... um ... poo-pee?
Learner: No, not puppy!
Me: I don't mean puppy, I mean poo-pee, like the French word for "doll."
Learner: I don't know "doll."
Me: Girls play with dolls. They dress it up.
Learner: Oh, yes! My wife wants a baby girl, because girls can be like dolls.
Me: Is doll poo-pee in French?
Learner: No, it's poo-pe.
Me: Oh... That's why you thought I meant "puppy." And now I see why you said "puppet." "Puppet" can be correct too, but I wanted to be sure what you meant.
Learner: I don't know "puppet."
Me: You know those dolls you can control? You can make them move and speak.
Learner: Oh, yes! But now we're talking about men, not girls.

For posterity's sake, the Mt. Pinatubo poem

Because I don't know a shorter way to retrieve Facebook status updates. And because this stranger has just conquered Mt. Pinatubo! Four-hour trek across snake-infested and rocky lahar land and all.

From my learner Remi.
To Althea Lauren Ricardo, Marchie P. Reyes, Donna Lampa

I'm sorry but I can't go
I'm not such an hero
It's a stratovolcano
... It's Mount Pinatubo.

The Mt. Pinatubo crater lake. January 22-23, 2011.

English Trainer Chronicles: Put to sleep

Learner: My journey today is not very good. I will go to the dentist in two hours.
Me: Why?
Learner: I have cavities.
Me: Oh. Sorry to hear that. How do you feel about going to the dentist?
Learner: It's not good, but it's okay. The dentist will sleep my tooth.
Me: Sorry, but that's not correct. The dentist can't sleep your tooth.

I introduce the expression "put to sleep."

Me: Now, please repeat.
Learner: The dentist will put my tooth to sleep.

We talk about how it's not really the tooth, but the nerves. And that the procedure is called a root canal.

Then I have the brilliant idea of introducing the other meaning of "put to sleep."

Me: Do you have a pet?
Learner: I had a cat.
Me: Well, you know when the cat is very, very sick and it won't be okay?
Learner: Yes. My cat was very, very sick. And now it's sleeping forever because it's die!
Me: (After correcting "It's die!") So, you put your cat to sleep.
Learner: I put my cat to sleep because it was very, very sick.
Me: Yes.
Learner: Yes.

Silence.

Learner: But for me, it's only the tooth?
Me: Yes.

English Trainer Chronicles: Guessing nothing

Learner: It's good to all time change of computers.
Me: You have to fix your sentence. It's good to ...?
Learner: It's good to change of computers ...
Me: No "of."
Learner: It's good to change about computers.
Me: Not "about." Change what? What do you change?
Learner: It's good to change on? To? For?
Me: Just say what you will change.
Learner: It's good to change ... computers?
Me: Exactly! Good!
Learner: No of? To? About?
Me: None.
Learner: Bah. It's hard to guess if there is nothing, no?

English Trainer Chronicles: What do women get every month?

Last week.

Me: "I'm not feeling so well."
Female learner: "Why?"
Me: "I'm having a difficult time with... you know, the monthly problem of women."
Learner: "I don't understand."
Me: "What do all women get every month?"
Learner, oh-so-matter-of-factly: "A paycheck."

This week.

Same learner: "I'm not firing on all four cylinders."
Me: "Wow, where did you get that expression?"
Learner: "My (British) bf described me this way when I told him about our lesson last week."

We had joy, we had fun


Marchie

IN HINDSIGHT, I think it's only fitting that I first encountered March through somebody else's story. One of The Company's Alabang pioneers, Erika--Kristine, really, but the name change is an HR story--would sometimes share my late night commutes with me. On one of those nights, she told me about this girl at the next cubicle who had angrily flashed a note at her. "Keep it down!" it said, or something like that.

But that wasn't the first story.

The first story, again from Erika, was about the same girl complaining loudly when she and another one of our batchmates, Donna, had the The Company van, which was already well on its way down C-5, turn around and pick them up at Eastwood. There had been some misunderstanding about the schedule, the passengers were told. They were all tired and eager to get home, I imagine; a minute's delay was a minute too many. "So you think you're that important, huh?" she supposedly said when Erika and Donna boarded the vehicle. Or something like that.

At that time, Alabang's first batch had needed to spend an extra week in Eastwood, because the Northgate Cyberzone office wasn't ready yet. As Bobby and David rushed to sort out the cubicles and the wires and the puppy dog tails, we had our schedules blocked off. Since we all had been expecting to be working in Alabang by then and none of us really found the prospect of working in Libis appealing, Bobby offered to have the van bring us from Alabang to Eastwood and back.

I also remember Bobby telling us that some girl named March had already given up her rented room, and, thus, the extra consideration.

"What a bitch!" I must have told Erika. Or, "What a bully!" Then I confessed I didn't know who March was and asked her to point her to me. And one night, Erika did. She walked past me, made a signal and I finally, for the first time, really see March--

--the "bully" who would eventually:

A. Ply me with much-needed alcohol at the end of my shift
B. Give me generous helpings of seafood pasta
C. Nag me for weeks into filing a week-long vacation leave
D. Book me a flight to God-knows-where using her own credit card
E. Make me fall in love with the concept of traveling without a plan
  • Convince me to go through a small tunnel and swim in a lake so deep, you couldn't see where the water ended
  • Make me hike through mud
  • Make me climb ten effing million steps to a gigantic cross (or, wait, was that Eric?)
  • Encourage me to talk to strangers, especially if it meant halving the boatman's fee
F. Be the only person who could force me to sing videoke
G. Mark me with the dance steps to Charlene's I've Never Been to Me
H. Go with me to visit Tita Cory
I. Tempt me to buy a Nintendo Wii, even if she mercilessly beat me at every game we played
J. Teach me to just say YES, in the name of adventure
K. And show me that her toughness is easily surpassed by her capacity to love.

While I'm not really a dull person to begin with, often, it still takes a "bully" like Marchie to bulldoze me into saying yes to the most fun side of me.

Months after we first really talked, we would laugh at how she and Erika eventually became friends. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, she was the last person in Alabang who saw Erika off when Erika decided to make a run for the sky.

Story has it that she offered to sketch March nude.

A story I heard from Marchie.

Donna

IN MY VERSION of the story of how Donna and I became friends, I would say it began on the way home after the first day of The Company training, in the van, on Kilometer 8 or thereabouts, as the American trainer who had a penchant for watching porn and complaining about the Philippines whined about comfort rooms with no toilet paper and no toilet seats (*his shocked expression here*) at Muntinlupa City's effing Star Mall (*my shocked expression here*).

My thought bubble kept going, "Did you know that that mall you frequent used to be a cemetery? TRUE STORY, asshole!"

But I bit my tongue, and I thanked God for Donna, who sat at the guy's other side. Together, or so I would like to remember, we patiently, politely explained some of our country's realities to the foreigner, unaware that some of our other batchmates already knew of his not-so-secret passions, having been his co-workers at the Korean English training center from which he was fired.

He was eventually fired (again) and Donna would eventually go on the same journey I was going through when we met. Invited by her friend who was invited by my friend, she took the same OCCI personal leadership seminars I was taking when The Company hired me in 2007.

We speak the same happy language. When I talk about wanting to be the greatest version of the grandest vision I can have of myself, she immediately understands. Best of all, she doesn't scoff at the happy-happy-joy-joyness of it. This is why she can tell if I truly need a hug.

My friendship with Donna is often shaped like a triangle, my favorite point being our shared learner, Bruno, who spends his free time poring through a French-English dictionary, watching indie films at the small theater across the street and translating poetry by Jacques Prévert, if he's not doing--what's that word again?--bricolage.

Last week, Bruno told me he suspects Donna is not really going back to school, but is starting a business from his idea of a breakfast of bread and butter and chocolate. "She has to pay me royalties," he joked with a tinge of sadness. I thought it beautiful that we were both sad.

Another point I share with Donna--and now, with Marchie--is a learner I will call Remi. (Ha-ha). Through my non-stop giggles and laughter, she would be able to tell I was having a lesson with him, and she'd tell me so on Google Talk. "You're talking to that learner Remi again, right?"

Always right!

When I moved to Eastwood, I told Remi to try to schedule a lesson with Donna. But luck, if you believe in that, would bring him my favorite bully Marchie.

And the rest, as is often the case, is "loevly" Marchie's story.

***

IT HITS HARDER that Marchie and Donna are leaving The Company on the same day. But in the three years I've become friends with them, I'd learned to associate one with the other.

I understand this because I have my own best friend too. I love this because I love my best friend too.

***

THIS JUST GOES TO SHOW that you may or may not learn to love Any Company, but it's really the company that gets you.

***

IN HINDSIGHT, there couldn't have been a better time for them to leave, though, as they're both going on an adventure I find myself wishing I'd signed up for much, much earlier.

Godspeed, Donna and Marchie!

In my heart of hearts, as I sit here in front of my computer, still (yes, positively) making a living one blinking cursor at a time, I'm actually backpacking with you.

Thanks for the drinks, the laughter, the love, the songs, that lobster and the shrimp.

Love lots,
Althea

English Trainer Chronicles: Lost in pronunciation

Geek

Him: Do you prefer to work in open space or in your own office?
Me: I prefer to work in cubicles, because I can still see people. If I had my own office, I might not leave it at all. Imagine, I teach people from another continent and I don't see my officemates--
Him: That would make you a dick!
Me: That would make me a what?!
(Pause, laughter)
Him: ... And I was so proud of my word too.*

Shirt

We were talking about some A(H1N1) prevention tips.

Him: We were told to (makes coughing sound) on our sleeves. Do you understand?
Me: Yes. The word is cough.
Him: What?
Me: (Makes coughing sound) That's coughing. The verb is cough.
Him: So, it's better to cough on your sleeve. I coughed on the end of my skirt.
Me: A skirt is something women wear for the bottom part of their bodies.
Him: Oh.
Me: (CCQ** mode) Do you wear a skirt?
Him: (Pause) Oops. Now you know my secret. I didn't want to share it with you.


* For the record, this was the Urban Dictionary meaning that registered: "An adjective to describe a guy who is a jerk or does mean and stupid things." To be fair, it does make sense. ;-)
 ** Comprehension check question

I don't know how to explain you

Today, a learner said, "I don't know how to explain you."

Normally, I'd correct it and say, "It's better to say: I don't know how to explain it to you."

But today is more of a "It's okay, I don't know how to explain me either" day.

***

I have a lot of things to catch up on. Working on my writing has been difficult since some idiot named Althea spilled milk on my keyboard. I'm so busy, busy, busy.

But I'm planning my escape.

***

Three years ago, I went on a juice fast and I said I'd do it annually to rid my body of toxins. I haven't succeeded in doing it again. I'd like to try this year, before my birthday. I'm thinking of starting it on Sept. 29, a full month before I turn 32. Wish me luck!

English Trainer Chronicles: Error

One of my favorite things is when a student uses technical vocabulary to talk about everyday things. It reminds me of what my thesis mentor told me about my writing: Pay attention to your language register. I had written that the sofa was perpendicular to the kitchen counter.

Today, one of my learners said his wife ordered curtains in a color that he found too bright.

Me: So, what did you do?
Him: It told her it was an error. She called the shop to modify the command.

English Trainer Chronicles: Blah, blah, blah

Our lesson was on using phrases for interrupting politely. He spoke English quite well, but he wasn't sure how to use the phrases.

Me: Let's pretend I'm talking, and then you have to interrupt me. Okay?
Him: Okay.
Me: So, blah, blah, blah, blah--interrupt!
Him: Excuse me, but I have a point to add.
Me: Good! (Pause and wait for him to make his point.) And what is that point?
Him: Oh... (Thinks.) Blah, blah, blah, blah.

After I stopped laughing ...

Me: That's not really English, you know.
Him: Yes, I'm not sure I'm improving, but I made you laugh!

English Trainer Chronicles: Arf!

Dogs bark in different languages too, methinks.

Learner: What means bark? Is it like the cry of a dog?
Me: Yes... (Then I bark to illustrate.)
Learner: I like it when you speak Dog. Can you do that again?
Me: I'm sorry, I'm not very fluent.

English Trainer Chronicles: Lost in translation

She was telling me to wait on the phone: "I will regulate the darkness."
She meant: "I need to adjust the light."

He was telling me why he had to see an ex-girlfriend again, after a bad break-up: "I have to see her because I left my clock at her apartment."
I actually replied: "Why not get a new one? It can't be that expensive!"
He meant: He had left his watch.

He was telling me about how he expressed his vacation preferences to his wife: "I told her to fly away."

English Trainer Chronicles: Garlic

I know the French word for garlic: ail. I have Italian students too, but it never occurred to me to look it up. Now I know:

aglio aglio aglio

My learner wanted to know what "garlic" was, and I wanted her to come up with the meaning on her own. But it was a slow day--for me.

Me: (Thinks of how I cook spaghetti.) Do you know "onion"?
Learner: Yes, I know onion.
Me: Well... it's not an onion.
Learner: Okay, so it's not an onion. (Laughs out loud.)
Me: (Thinking, "What have I done!") So, garlic is not an onion ... It's white and you have to peel off many layers of skin. And it comes in a bulb, so you have to take it apart, because you only use some of the parts. Then, sometimes, to use it in a dish, you have to crush it.
Learner: Crush?
Me: You know, you use a fork to make it, er, flat?
Learner: Oh, I know! Vampires ate garlic!
Me: No... vampires don't like it!
Learner: Yes, vampires ate garlic!
Me: No, they don't like garlic!

Then I realized we were pretty much saying the same thing. She just wasn't, like many of my learners, pronouncing the letter h.

P.S.

Proof I was a vampire--specifically, a Toreador--from Lorie's collection of college photos:

English Trainer Chronicles: Happy April Fool's Day!

I learned, from factmonster.com, that April Fool's day is April Fish Day in France. A learner told me that children put pictures of fish on the backs of people as a prank, so I spent all day telling my French learners to watch out for fish! :-)

One of my learners told me of her own experience as a child.

Learner: "When I was a young girl, my friend put a fish in my butt."
Me: ...
Learner: "Oh no, no! My back, not my butt!"

When she walked away to print our lesson for the day, I could still hear her laughing.

English Trainer Chronicles: A triple treat

Three stories, to make up for my lack of blogging.

Tomatoes

The "Monday question," as most of my learners have observed, is "What did you do last weekend?" So...

Me: What did you do last weekend?
Learner: I prepared the soil in the garden for the tomatoes I will plant.
Me: You plant tomatoes? That's great! What kind of tomatoes do you plant?
Learner: I plant two kinds, grape tomatoes and the tomato we call Roma.
Me: What is the Roma tomato like?
Learner: It is coming from Italy...
Me: Wait... let's fix this sentence. When you say "It is coming from Italy," it means it is on its way right now.
Learner: Why, yes, Althea, it's coming on the train to jump in my garden. Don't you have tomatoes like that in your country?

Running on water

Same learner got me too!

We were talking about dolphins in the Philippines. I was telling him about how, when I was in Bohol, we followed dolphins around on a boat. I think I got a little overexcited, as usual.

Learner: Do you have dolphins in your country?
Me: Oh we do! They're really wonderful! Last summer, we went dolphin-watching near one of the islands here, and we had a boat and we ran after them--
Learner: You run on the water? Mamma mia! You're like Jesus!

Vineyard

His English was great. He was really serious. Like military serious. And I didn't know how to break the ice.

Me: So, maybe we can talk about your goals. What is your dream job?
Him: My dream job is to be... what do you call that place where you plant grapes for wine?
Me: Oh, a vineyard.
Him: My dream job is to be a vineyard.
Me: Um, that's not right.
Him: Yes, it is. My dream job is to be a vineyard.
Me: Um, that means grapes will be planted on you.
Him: Why, yes.
Me: Do you want grapes to be planted on you?
Him: Oh, NO! I don't want to BE a vineyard! I want to HAVE a vineyard. I don't want grapes to be planted on me! (Guffaws)

English Trainer Chronicles: Stick and Shearing

A double feature for today, from two of my funniest students.

1. Sheared

Me: What did you do last weekend?
Him: I went to the ... (checks translator) hairdresser.
Me: Oh, what did you have done?
Him: He ... (checks translator) sheared me.
Me: ???
Him: He sheared me.
Me: Oh. That's usually used for sheep.
Him: O-ka-aa-aa-ay.

2. Stick

Him: I'm trying to cut down on meat.
Me: Oh, that's great. So what did you have for lunch?
Him: Pasta and (checks translator) cauliflower.
Me: Wow... that's interesting. So, are you really avoiding meat?
Him: Yes, but I eat stick.
Me: Stick?
Him: Yes, stick.
Me: Are you sure it's stick?
Him: Um, steak?
Me: Oh! (Laughs) Do you know what "stick" is?
Him: (Laughs) Wait, let me check, let me check ... (Laughs out loud)

English Trainer Chronicles: Counterfeit

We were discussing this article from www.iht.com: French court rules against eBay over luxury fakes sold on its site.

It's about how eBay was ordered to pay €38.6 million in damages to LVMH, the French luxury goods company.

He told me about how some of the counterfeit goods were made in countries in which authentic goods were also made, and how some makers just make similar products, like bags for example, with lesser quality materials, and they just change small details, like the name.

We were talking about this part:
When counterfeits appear on our site we take them down swiftly, and today's ruling is not about our fight against counterfeiting," eBay said from Paris. "It's about an attempt by LMVH to protect uncompetitive commercial practices at the expense of consumer choice and the livelihood of law-abiding sellers that eBay empowers every day. We will fight this ruling on their behalf."
Him: They made a mistake! It's LVMH, not LMVH. It's a counterfeit company!