I still love you, you know
Maybe the point is not to understand.
“Love is a dark night. Dark nights are largely about love. Once you give up the bright light of consciousness and understanding, you may discover that you can be in this world in a darker way, living by love and desire rather than by rationality and control. You don’t give up your intellect, but you allow love its natural dominance.” - From Dark Nights of the Soul by Thomas Moore