Thursday, May 31, 2007

Openness

I think I've said it before here, that my whole OCCI Seminar Trilogy experience has all been about openness and surrender. But I also noticed that this openness also, well, opens me up to other people's energy.

To begin with, more people are drawn to me. And not just the usual slew of con artists ("I need money to go home to Mindanao!" or "My son is dying and I need a gazillion bucks!") or beggars or lost people who somehow always pick me from the crowd (I always thought it was because I looked either harmless or stupid).

A side story on that: when I was a student in UP Diliman, a guy came up to me, chatted me up about Jesus, and sold me a plaster of Paris bust of the Savior for P100. A couple of months later, I was accompanying my brother to his enrollment in UP Los BaƱos and the same guy picked me again!

Ever since I started to really open up, I've had people introducing themselves to me. I've had more people telling me they love me. I've had people jokingly flirting with me--both men and women. It's crazy how a little openness can go. If I had only known it was so easy, I probably wouldn't have been such a wallflower in high school.

The drawback is that I'm also easily drained by negative talk or negative outbursts, so I tend to ignore people when they start to whine. And everyday, I'm easily moved to tears (though I've realized that if I just let it flow, it does feel better).

I should learn to start conserving/protecting my energy now. What color bubble was that again? Pink?