English Trainer Chronicles: Lost in pronunciation

Geek

Him: Do you prefer to work in open space or in your own office?
Me: I prefer to work in cubicles, because I can still see people. If I had my own office, I might not leave it at all. Imagine, I teach people from another continent and I don't see my officemates--
Him: That would make you a dick!
Me: That would make me a what?!
(Pause, laughter)
Him: ... And I was so proud of my word too.*

Shirt

We were talking about some A(H1N1) prevention tips.

Him: We were told to (makes coughing sound) on our sleeves. Do you understand?
Me: Yes. The word is cough.
Him: What?
Me: (Makes coughing sound) That's coughing. The verb is cough.
Him: So, it's better to cough on your sleeve. I coughed on the end of my skirt.
Me: A skirt is something women wear for the bottom part of their bodies.
Him: Oh.
Me: (CCQ** mode) Do you wear a skirt?
Him: (Pause) Oops. Now you know my secret. I didn't want to share it with you.


* For the record, this was the Urban Dictionary meaning that registered: "An adjective to describe a guy who is a jerk or does mean and stupid things." To be fair, it does make sense. ;-)
 ** Comprehension check question