I think it's ruining me that I am compelled to make every single experience meaningful. One of this year's lessons is: Let things fade into insignificance. Not everything or everyone earns the right to be beautiful in memory, no matter how much they were loved.
On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with wanting things to be wrapped up nicely, if this is who you are. Just know that it is not realistic and it can lead to a lot of frustration and, worse, heartbreak, because only life and the living of it can really reveal the gift of moments you have already lived.
Some things feel so important now, so overpowering, and yet will surprise you with how small they actually are in the scheme of things. And some things feel so inconsequential but leave a mark.
You can't always tell which is which, not while they are happening. The only way to find out is to simply live.