Auntie Anna

Like many Filipinos, we have family who have immigrated to the States. By the late 1980s, my mother and her three siblings were split between the East Coast (the eldest boy Justino and the eldest girl Constita) and Southern Manila (second eldest Jesus and youngest Ramonesa).

Justino, whom we knew as Uncle Boy, was a doctor who specialized in internal medicine. He moved to New York for his residency at a teaching hospital in 1969. He lived in Queens and eventually married a nurse of German-Irish descent named Anna Brennan, and they made a home in New Jersey.

The story I was told is that Uncle Boy was smart but shy, and Auntie Anna had to make the first move. I can't know this for sure because I was a toddler when I met Uncle Boy for the first and last time, but I can imagine it, because it was Auntie Anna who kept in touch with us for the both of them throughout the years.

She sent us pictures of their children almost every year, so I felt like I saw Justin, Jonathan, Steven, and Jessica growing up. She wrote us Christmas cards and letters in that distinctive handwriting I've come to associate with American mail.

One year, Auntie Anna gifted us melamine plates with our names on them. This was before Kai was born, so we had three that spelled out "Hilary Ivan," "Nolan Myles," and "Althea Lauren."

We used those plates for all our meals, three times a day, over so many years. As I finished eating, the rice and viand cleared off my plate would reveal my printed name, and I would invariably think of the state-side Riveras.

Uncle Boy passed away before I could visit them in America. He never came home again after 1978, which was also the last time my mother saw him. When she flew over for his funeral in 2013, Auntie Anna embraced her like a sister.

In 2015, we were invited to my cousin Jessica's wedding. I did my best to go, because I wanted to finally meet this side of my family. I had a memorable visit, and I was able to hang out with most of the New Jersey Riveras, including Justin and his wife Michelle.

Auntie Anna was as chatty as I imagined her to be. She recalled Uncle Boy taking her to Baguio. She mentioned the Filipino food she liked, such as the staple pansit and lumpia, even before they were popular.

She told me how much she loved our grilled pork. I assumed she was talking about lechon or liempo, but then she said the meat was threaded in bamboo skewers. She didn't know what was in the marinade, she said, that made it so good, so sweet and tangy.

I realized it was Filipino-style barbecue she was talking about, and I made a mental note to give her a recipe or even Mama Sita's Barbecue Marinade Mix and bottled calamansi seasoning one day.

Unfortunately, while we kept in touch on Facebook, I haven't been able to go back to visit.

Auntie Anna passed away peacefully yesterday, July 2. I am hopeful she was met by Uncle Boy and their first-born Justin. I imagine them having a beautiful feast together, with as much Pinoy BBQ as they can eat and the best of everything else they would ever want and need.