Anger is easy but boring

Let me do the work of love, no matter how hard. Never mind if it's not instantly rewarding; it is infinitely more interesting. 

Dream: Barcelona

Last night, I dreamed that I was catching huge koi fish in an enormous but shallow pool shaped like Denmark. I don't even know what Denmark is shaped like, but I knew it was Denmark. 

The fish were biting, but in some parts of the pool the water was not enough for fish to swim in, so I waded farther inward and tried to catch some more. In a deeper portion of the pool, I caught a giant goldfish but pulled out the bait (also a fish) and threw it back, like the others, I presume, since I kept catching fish but I wasn't carrying any. 

Then I had to go to with family to Barcelona, where we stayed in an old house lent to us by a distant relative. The house was empty except for some supplies left in the cupboard. 

We had our helper Jane with us, and for the most part of the trip, the two of us stayed in the house. I was content with it, being inside a house in Barcelona, and discovering the house's little spots of personality. 

It wasn't a beautiful house; it wasn't interesting even. But I kept finding traces of the people who had lived in it and that fascinated me. 

A few days before the end of our trip, I found bottles stashed in the upper shelf of a cupboard. One was a European version of toyomansi. Another was filled with figs and olive oil. 

Jane was cleaning up when I found those bottles. I had needed to stand on a chair to reach them, and she told me to be careful because the seat was broken. I looked down and saw part of the seat wedged beneath a small and rusty LPG tank. 

That was when we noticed that parts of the kitchen were splattered with old oil stains. Jane wondered if she should clean them, and I said she could, but she didn't have to, since they had been there before we arrived. But she wanted to and she rolled up her sleeves.

I felt bad because she hadn't been outside the house at all. She hadn't seen what was there to see in Barcelona. Then I realized I hadn't been outside at all! And I had a dear friend in Barcelona who didn't know I was there. And we were about to go home!

I messaged my friend on Whatsapp. He said he was staying in this little cottage owned by a language school. He was teaching Spanish to engineering students and engineers. The school was also looking for English teachers, he said. Did I want to stay longer to have a proper vacation?

I woke up happier than I'd been in the past few days.

Dream: Burning leaves

I dreamed that I was woken up by the scent of burning leaves, and I stepped out of the house to find out who had started a small bonfire. I wasn't dressed to go out, so instead I peered over the wall. I saw a friend who passed away this year. He smiled at me and I was startled to see him, remembering he had died.

Then his face became that of his brother's. 

"Oh, hi," I said, "I didn't know you were here." And I thought you were your dead sibling. "Has anyone been burning leaves?" I asked.

He shook his head, and I went back inside the house to sleep.

Positive (a short story)

I found the short story I based my ten-minute play on. I think it can still be polished, and maybe I will make some revisions, but again it was nice to read twenty-something me again. 

I'm sharing what is still a draft, though this story has already been workshopped in my Fiction class and has been revised afterwards. 

Dream: Walking away

Last night, I dreamed that I was just leaving work in Alabang. Or was it school? Anyway, I was leaving and I saw someone I used to love. He was dressed very well, in a red shirt and black jeans, a jacket, and brown Oxfords (not brogues). He also had dark eyeglasses on. He was smiling, but not at me.

I didn't want to be seen, so I hurriedly walked away. When I realized he was just behind me, walking in the same direction, I walked faster. It started drizzling, and I walked even faster. He and some other guys hitched a ride on the back of a pickup truck and they passed me, and I saw him see me, but I kept walking and walked even faster when he got off the truck.

I walked and walked and suddenly I was in Cainta, far away from him. I walked towards a group of people, and I discovered they were at a riverbank. I saw a man I recognized as a friend's father. He and his companions were fishing.

I peered at the water and saw that it was part ice but still flowing, taking some fish and other river creatures with it. The people just needed to pull out the partially frozen creatures. I saw different types of frozen freshwater fish and even crocodiles, all frozen, their eyes still open. They didn't seem to be dead, just asleep, encased in soft ice.

Already there were huge piles of seafood ready to be sold, and the sight of the fish made me want to bring some home. I asked my friend's father if I could buy some, and he apologized and said that the sellers weren't there yet. 

Being told no made me want the fish more and so I was sad, and when he noticed my sadness, he handed me a few pieces of small flat fish, barely even full grown, for free. I took the fish and thanked him, but he saw I wasn't happy, so he poured some salt and pepper into a teaspoon, plucked some local berries from a nearby bush, and gave them to me. 

"Try this," he said. "It's good."

I still wanted the fish, so I lingered, and soon the sellers arrived. But then I realized I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore and the fish didn't look very appealing, so I just stood there until I remembered I was supposed to be on my way home.

But I had already walked from Alabang to Cainta, and I didn't want to turn around and walk back the same way. On the other hand, I felt that if I continued in the same direction, I would make it home, yes, but through a busier, non-scenic route, and the walk would be too uncomfortable.    

I walked around a little to look for a bus station and found myself in a small mall. The rest of the dream is hazy, and it ended with me, standing on a sidewalk, looking at buses that were headed one place near me that I had never wanted to go to. 

I can't recall the name of the place, but the feeling was the same as when I would be in Makati, waiting for a bus to Alabang and all the buses were headed to FTI.